From the earliest times mankind has had expectations: “we will get meat today”, “tomorrow the sun will shine”, ” I'm sure it will be a boy!” In the world of today our expectations have become ever greater: everyone expects to own their own home, a Brit will win Wimbledon! Even our charitable actions have been corrupted by expectations; we expect some ‘reward' from our charity. Pop concerts entertain us, charity dinners feed our body but not our soul. Jesus clearly warns us of the dangers of charity: and if you give alms you will do harm to your spirits [logion 14.6-7]. When ‘being seen' or ‘being there' is more important, then ahamkara (pride) has taken control.
So it's no surprise that expectations are just as rife on our spiritual journey. We may read of other's ‘peak experiences': voices, light, singing, images, overwhelming love, etc., and we expect them for ourselves. We strive, we meditate, we pray, we ‘give', we expect, we wait. And when they don't happen we become disappointed so we strive more, pray more, and finally we become discouraged. Jesus knew this ‘road' only too well:
His disciples said to him:
On which day will the Kingdom come?
Jesus said: It will not come by expectation.
They will not say:
”Behold, it is here!”
or “Behold, there!”
But the Kingdom of the Father is spread out over the earth
and men do not see it. [Logion #113]
We miss the key offered by the Master of Galilee: small things. Small things such as seeds [#20, #9, #57], a pearl [#76], a little yeast [#96]. He teaches us not to despise the day of small things, not to overlook the littleness of the motions of Divine Life in our own souls; these lively checks and calls within ourselves. Remember Jesus' assertions:
Do not lie, and do not do what you dislike,
for all things are revealed before heaven. [Logion #6.6-9]
If you become my disciples
and hear my logia,
even these stones will minister to you. [Logion #19.4-6]
Whatever a seed, a pearl, some yeast, may be in the world, these are beginnings
of the Kingdom in our souls.
Small things; do not overlook them.